|Posted on August 15, 2014 at 8:45 PM|
I died. How’d your date go?
I’m not one of those people that tossed aside the new Ninja Trutles movie because “the old one was better.” I tossed it aside because I didn’t like the principles involved in its creation. The producer and director have a track record when it comes to this type of stuff and it just looked like the same. Was it? I don’t know, I’m not rushing to see it to be honest.
But that old movie? That one still holds up, and Bob here goes into why. It’s not a great movie, but they nailed the elements that defined it and the Turtles in both the comics and the cartoon and, on top of that, understood character development and drama. Little moments that in today’s whiz-bang-wow world of reboots would never get done. There are exceptions, yes, but those are the exceptions that prove the rule (The new Planet of the Apes movies are a great example).
I think this is the final movie that Criterion has to put out for Cassavetes. I'm not sure, but it's also one of his later movies and often overlooked - I know I haven't seen it and now really want to.
Robert Rodriguez sits down with his pal Quentin Tarantino. I hear those guys make movies or something.
Oh man…oh man…I…actually I played the SNES version. It’s sweet, though…yeah that combat gets repetitive.
T-Shirts of the Week:
Good luck getting this out of your head once you hear it.
I also want to give a shout out to Williams’ interview with Marc Maron on his WTF Podcast. He recently re-uploaded it, and it’s fantastic.
Some of his best scenes put together. Man, he’ll be missed.
Or most certainly will never see, seeing as some of the people have died. But still, these are all movies that, at one point, were announced and probably along in development and it never ended up happening.
I think “Great” is used very loosely here, but like the whole “plot hole” article I shredded a few months back, followed by a lengthy blog post about what “plot hole” actually means seeing as nobody really knew, let’s do it once more.
Take a breath, here we go…
#41: Baffling? Perhaps, but it’s hard to know what this Batman’s thought process is. Sometimes he kills, other times he doesn’t…but I suppose either way it is a bit baffling that he’s dead in target.
As for the direct hit with the giant pistol, that’s just goofy comic book stuff. Deal with it.
#40: Of course, if you’ve actually seen the scene, you know that a) Kirk couldn’t reach him on the com prompting Spock to head down. b) He argues with Bones about going in, not Scotty. In fact Scotty isn’t even in the damn scene, he’s passed out on the fucking floor, then wakes up and begs Spock to get out of the chamber c) He notes that he is “not human” meaning he could probably sustain the radiation. They only have a few minutes and “doesn’t have time to discuss this logically."
Christ, do people watch the movies? This isn’t “baffling.”
#39: They did turn Brody into bit of a parody in the third film, but at the same time that’s the most we’ve seen of Brody. He’s still a smart guy, but he’s also a bit goofy. Not really baffling to me.
#38: I don’t understand the point of this entry.
#37: Um, the name of the piece is “Baffling moments” not “Cring-inducing lyrics.”
#36: I don’t understand the point of this entry.
#35: Again, not baffling, and “crippled nut?” Who says he’s a “crippled nut?” He looks like a regular person, that was the entire point.
#34: Ok, I have a lot of problems with Into Darkness, and Spock yelling out Khaannnnn to really nobody but one person in the engine room was utterly stupid and ONLY there to be a call back to another movie entirely (that you have to have seen in the first place which Into Darkness is far too reliant on throughout the entire script - hell, it depends deeply on you aware of the other movie). I don’t think it’s so much “Baffling” as it is just absolutely stupid.
#33: Casting Keanu Reeves is certainly baffling. He’s good in the right roles, that was the wrong role. So yeah, this is the first entry that I can confidently say is truly baffling. I mean, what did they see in his previous work that would think he could pull this off? Especially when the other two main actors are two of the greatest of all time?
#32: Another dumb entry. The entire point of that scene was to find, even if for a moment, something human and touching in a time of darkness. Not baffling in the slightest.
#31: No, it’s a style and Pulp Fiction had been weird and strange to begin with. How is this “baffling?”
#30: Again, nothing baffling here.
#29: It can’t be “baffling” when there’s an obvious explanation in the entry itself (it was created to be an R2D2 type character).
#28: Um, ok what’s “baffling?" He was pretty decent in the role…
#27: I don’t understand the point of this entry. Is it about runtime? It’s a bloated movie, for sure. Maybe it’s “all these scenes mean little and are baffling that they’re int he movie. But that’s a really broad stroke. Tell you what, though, I’ll give it to it.
#26: Nothing “baffling” here though. Yeah, it’s a long ending, but it’s not a baffling one nor is a long ending being baffling in and of itself a thing to bitch about when the books go on for many more chapters after the climax.
#25: I don’t understand the point of this entry. Complaining about exposition (or runtime, or endings too long) isn’t something that’s “baffling.”
#24: Bad CGI is “baffling?” Also, I don’t think that CGI is all that bad to be honest.
#23: Yeah…but it’s not “baffling.” It’s a caricature. Even the entry itself says “terrible thing” not “baffling thing.” Perhaps it’s baffling because it’s terrible? I don’t know. Let’s check something:
Baffling: to confuse, bewilder, or perplex: to frustrate or confound; thwart by creating confusion or bewilderment. Maybe you didn’t like it, but it’s not really “baffling.” “Terrible” has nothing to do with it. Perhaps the choice to go “caricature” is baffling, but then it’s really just talking about preferences and tastes, not something that’s confusing or strange.
#22: Now there you go. That’s what I’m talking about. That sudden giant-S was one of the weirdest out of nowhere and, yes, actually baffling things I’d ever seen (and still is).
#21: Again, it might look odd, but it’s not “baffling.” It’s not “confusing” in terms of choice. It’s just bad prosthetics and a weird looking chest on Montalbon. It’s not baffling. Maybe they’re talking about baffling costumes…maybe.
#20: Yeah, that’s more than just the "cringe-inducing” lyric in the Aladdin entry - this is bad and just weird. That’s flat-out a song about rape in a family musical. Legit baffling on who wrote that (seriously, who writes that?) and why it’s in a musical about finding love.
#19: Ah, another one. Yeah, the sudden out-of-nowhere internal monologue from Lois Lane was strange. Like the Giant S, it comes out of left field and isn’t really hinted at beforehand or brought up again. There is no other moment in the film that has her internal thought. It’s awkward and confusing, certainly.
#18: Sure, we can nitpick about costumes and lighting and sets til the cows come home, but there’s nothing “baffling” here. It looks cheap, simple as that. Hell, Avengers often looked cheap.
#17: Forrest Gump was full of weird little things like that. Perhaps the perfection of the smile is baffling, so I’ll let this one slide and say it's a little baffling. The scene itself is fine.
#16: Badly timed, sure, but not baffling. Keep in mind: Baffling = confusing and perplexing.
#14: A notorious scene, perhaps baffling how it was overlooked, but not baffling in and of itself. This isn’t “bad shots/editing moments” it’s about confusing moments.
#13: Bad dialogue isn’t baffling. Bad dialogue is just bad dialogue, period.
#12: Yeah, but it’s still just wood and we’ve seen wands be broken before. It’s still Harry’s wand no matter who the hell made it.
#11: No, it was left ambiguous. They put it there for drama, simple as that, then you see he survived. How? Not important. Nothing really baffling here, movies do this type of stuff all the time, as do books etc… you think someone is dead, then they aren’t. Done.
#10: I do not have an eye-roll gif big enough for this entry. Jesus Christ, you know it’s his name. It’s always been his name. When he was in the Navy, it was his name. His parents were Mr. and Mrs. Bond. What the hell?
Hi straws…let me try and grasp you. Oh, and this is #10? Wow…
#9: Baffling that a song might undercut the powerful emotion of Let it Go? Yeah, but welcome to musicals, man. Sometimes the best song comes early, then there’s some not so great songs, sometimes vice-versa. Not baffling.
#8: Not baffling. It was the 60s. That’s like saying Sean Connery James Bond movies are baffling because he has sex with a lot of women.
#7: No, this isn’t baffling. At least that song existed in that world.
In the movie, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, that song comes out of nowhere. Now that is baffling there. Not here.
Of course, that isn’t on this list.
#6: I don’t understand this entry. If it’s “the line in the movie is worse than the book” then we’re going to be here all day with the thousands of movies based on books.
#4: Yeah, this whole thing was weird and baffling. Just hopping into a shuttle and stripping down was kind of weird enough, but I can chalk that up to “running out of time” or something (though they really weren’t). But yeah…she knows Kirk, she’s either doing this to tease him or…you know it’s just weird.
#3: Something fantasy-looking looks really fantasy-like. Oh, let’s call the President of Hollywood…
Beep booop beep boop.
“Hello President of Hollywood? Is your refrigerator running? Well you better make sure that everything looks super realizing even when it’s magic and stuff otherwise some moron on Cracked with make a post about it”
#2: Not baffling. It’s a joke, if anything. You can’t tell me that his entire moment wasn’t funny. That was kind of the point.
#1: I…guess? I don’t know. I mean, I suppose saying “these men who want to be women (though Psycho and Sleepaway Camp aren’t necessarily about that) being murderers may put trans women and sexuality in a bad light, but then I think of something like The Crying Game (or in similar fashion, Boys Don’t Cry) that really don’t. I don’t know, I mean we can have a discussion about the representation of transgender persons in film, but there’s nothing really “baffling” here.
Ok, final tally: Out of 42 Entries of “Baffling Moments” only 10 I would legit say are “baffling” (meaning confusing or perplexing). This isn’t “I didn’t like this” list, it’s what’s legitimately confusing and strange in relation to the movie and in inexplicable in it being there.