Digital Polyphony

film, games, memories & random thoughts


IR165: Samurai, Oners & Answers

Posted on May 27, 2014 at 2:55 AM

The Spielberg Oner

Spielberg may be one of the greatest directors ever, but his artistic approach and technique is often underrated. He’s a master of damn near every trick in the book, and one is actually my favorite: he ability to tell a story with a oner.  Not a single shot of Munich, strangely enough. That movie was full of amazing camera usage, I would say Spielberg at his very best. There’s also that incredible oner from War of the Worlds, blending real footage and CG, all telling a story.

Cracked: 21 Important Questions Movies Didn't Answer

I haven’t thrashed a Cracked user-entry photoplasty thing about movies in a while. They’re often full of ignorance or irrelevance, and boy did they do it again on this one. So let’s celebrate movies by showing what’s up on these often nit-picky, completely uninteresting bitch-fests.


#21 - Hey, you started with one that’s interesting. Unfortuantly, it’s proven wrong in the comments where, as it seems we’ve forgotten, Verbal had immunity for giving his statement.


#20 - The film indicates a lot of missions and lot of things happening with the Basterds that we don’t see, and some of them died.


#19 - Tony Stark doesn’t let anyone use his Iron Man suits. A better question is why didn’t he unleash his remote AI-controlled suits sooner.


#18 - This isn’t an “important” question. So he got tossed off a sand speeder. Let’s completely forget that this guy also was the leader of Cloud City and once owned the fastest ship in the galaxy before Han got it. So quiet down on the Lando-bashing, ok? He’s already established as a shrewd man, and infiltrating Jabba’s palace is probably no thang.


#17 - Who says he was licensed? In fact, there’s nothing about this taking a test. As far as we know, he just bought the boat and went on the water unlicensed.


#16 - Always bugged me, that’s for sure. A good one.


#15 - Irrelevant. This is an “important” question? Does the title mean anything? Also, it’s obviously a German-parade. If you live in any major city, there’s a goddamn parade for just about anything. There was a parade for bikes here in LA a bit ago. Bikes. Also neon stuff if I recall.’


#14 - I never understood the ice thing myself. I mean, he has plenty of bushes and stuff.


#13 - That’s the joke. This is the stinger at the end, not some “important” question.


#12 - Pretty sure it’s established by now that Supes isn’t in his mother’s barn. Also the army only recovered that after Smallville was destroyed. It was clean-up.


#11 - Nit-picky. This is one of those things that is a plot point, but the “how” just isn’t important when we’re talking about aliens.


#10 - And how will she shit? Not important. Plus she’s shown to be able to create life from snow, so I’m sure she’ll have some things brought to her form minions.


#9 - Young nobles is nothing new. By the time someone was 13 they could be a damn king for Christsake.


#8 - Not important to the movie at all, and therefore not relevant here. Also, it’s in the books.


#7 - ? Really? Really? The guy was psychotic, hence the name. You’re trying to put logic into someone psychotic?


#6 - I don’t understand what the question is. Really badly written and asked. If it’s asking if the pharmaceutical companies’ research is tainted, then yes it was, however it was tainted to begin with due to the beuaracy and red tape of seeking profit over seeking care.


#5 - Gee, I dunno…guess things like books and internet doesn’t exist, right? I mean, ten years to look something up…nah, nobody would do that.


#4 - Eh, maybe a point to be made, but I think it comes down to larger life forms versus microscopic and what the machine can “read”. Come to think of it, I believe there’s a moment in the film where it shows what the machine is “reading” and it only reads Jeff and the Fly and nothing else. It could easily be programmed to ignore a lot of other stuff.


Also, let’s not forget that the experiment didn’t exactly end up well and would be considered a failure.


#3 - Pretty obvious they have been pushed down to barely existing and live in exile.


#2 - Never explained, but if we’re going by your standard folklore type of stuff, which Gremlins is kind of based on, safe to say anytime from midnight through first dawn of light


#1 - Interestingly enough, this one was also on the “plot hole” thread from cracked that I also ridiculed. Problem is - it’s not established in the film. You can sit there and say “it’s a rule in all competition” but the fact is, it’s never stated in the film even when the judge is giving the rules.



So, again the point: Cracked editors are kind of lazy and ask for users to send things in. The users are lazy and don’t double check stuff. The Cracked editors are double-lazy and don’t double check the submissions and then just throw it all up for people to digest and point out how utterly dumb and useless the entire thing was.


Until next time, right?



Godzilla’s Godzilla Problems

I gave Godzilla a fairly poor review. I could have gone on a lot to a lot of the issues I have with it, but this is another one.



30 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Temple of Doom

Oh really?


Yeah. Temple isn't a great movie, but it's a fun one.



20 Movie Titles that Make No Sense

Other than “Quantum of Solace” it’s a funny list.  “Quantum” is in reference to the company in the film, not measurement. So it’s kind of saying “The company of solace” Of course, that also makes little sense, but whatever. Kind of like “Tomorrow” is a media thingy in “Tomorrow Never Dies.” But in the film, Tomorrow does die. Pretty badly, I might add.\


Actually, “Lenoard Part 6” is kind of the joke. It’s a parody movie ala Naked Gun 33 1/3.


And 12 Monkeys is the name of the group in the movie…


Wait a minute this list isn’t researched at all.


Holy crap, now that I read more, it’s just awful. Some are great entries, like “Manos the Hands of Fate” but man, this is just a badly researched list all in all. “The Phantom Menace” is a dumb name, but it still makes sense. “You Only Live Twice” is in reference to the two “lives” James Bond has in that movie. I was on board with the first couple, though. Those are stupid names.

LGR: Wolfenstein 3D

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Samurai and Star Wars

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Mental Floss: Children’s Books

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T-Shirts of the Week



Film Nerd: The Plainview Mansion

Not just a great movie location, but a historical and relevant I had no clue about. Interesting, though brief, insight into There Will Be Blood.

Why Pac Rim is Better than Godzilla

I kind of wanted to put this here for  a few reasons. One, I do think Pacific Rim is a better movie than Godzilla based on the sole reason Pac Rim knows what kind of movie it is and runs with it whereas Godzilla feels conflicted.


But two, I don’t need to show what Pacific Rim did better to show the flaws in Godzilla. That’s not good film criticism. I loathe comparative reviewing because it doesn't "prove" anything. Pac Rim doesn't need to be used to show flaws of Godzilla. A good cirtic can exclude that type of stuff.


Cinema Snob: Godzilla's Revenge

The worst Godzilla? Probably. I haven't seen all of them but this looks absolutely awful to the point where I'm glad I don't need to see it now.

Random Funny Duck Picture:

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Reply D. Hay
5:11 PM on May 27, 2014 
Love reading your IR articles here, but I just have to comment about Quantum of Solace. The title actually does refer to measurement, not the organization. If you recall at the end of Casino Royale, Bond is emotionally shattered after losing Vesper, who he truly loved, and in Quantum of Solace, he is searching for comfort in his heart, mind and soul (enough to move on in his life and do his job without constantly making mistakes) whilst on his journey to find the man responsible for Vesper's betrayal. With this context in mind, the title does make sense (Even Daniel Craig commented on the title's meaning when the film was in production; check the sources below). The organization was named "Quantum" after the film's title was chosen.
Reply J. Conrady
12:02 AM on May 28, 2014 
Hi D. Hay. Thanks for the clarification. Sounds like it's a pretty good title either way. :)