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Sorry, your vampire isn't "Dreamy" enough.

Posted on October 26, 2009 at 3:04 PM

I couldn't help but smile to see The Vampire's Assistant do so horribly this weekend. Now this isn't a reflection on the material or those involved. I hate seeing the hard work become unfruitful for them, especially John C. Reilly whom I love and Paul Weitz did About a Boy, one of my favorite films. The fact is, it was a 70 million dollar picture rushed through production to jump on the "pretty boy vampire" craze that Twilight/Tru Blood and Vampire Diaries are cashing in on right now.


 

So, is this a calling by the public saying "we're tired of it?"


 

No, probably not. Cirque du Freak just isn't popular enough, probably, and the tone isn't some romance movie to get the teenage girls coming in masses. This is entirely due to the mismanagement of the film's marketing because it tries to show the "pretty boy" vampire when, in fact, it's actually a lighthearted "scary" movie. By "scary" I mean that in the "Goosebumps" sense of the word where it also wants to be kind of funny and made for teens.


As much as I'd like to say it flopped because it's a bad movie, I can't because it's sittingat 37% over at Rotten Tomatoes whereas Twilight is a nice 49% (and Transformers 2 worse than both). In other words, half-assed movies are all the same, what matters is how the demographic sees it. Twilight's following of rabid love-struck teens was already established just as Transformers fans were already established. It's demographic already knew what it was and came in droves.


 

So why smile? Because it actually shows that shelling out some big-budget crappy movie with a good looking vampire isn't going to automatically lead to success. So many are jumping on the bandwagon that it's now completely crowded and some have to get shoved off. It's not that the public is tired of it, it's that the market is so overwrought with it that thinking the formula set by others will automatically lead to success is not only idiotic assumption but undermines the fact that the moviegoing public probably won't notice it in the crowd. What this means is that, hopefully, producers and studios will notice this which would lead to, at least, a reeling back of all these vampire/gothic/emo-based material.


 

Of course, if you're out there trying to sell that material (and I know some that are) then it's not a good time for you.


Signing Off,

~JC


PS: I don't know about you, but this is still the coolest vampire to date, and he's not dreamy at all.




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5 Comments

Reply frdrizzt (Anthony)
7:32 PM on October 26, 2009 
I'd hit it.

The nice thing about Vampire movies is that you know they are going to suck...your blood.
Reply J. Conrady
1:50 PM on October 27, 2009 
*Zing* .... *Zing* indeed.
Reply toosmartforbond2
9:37 PM on December 10, 2009 
TrueBlood doesn't really belong in that opening list. It may be somewhat more dramatic, but it's far more unique than teenage angst vampirism bullshit.

But yes, of course, the bandwagon jumping is evident. But the same thing seems to have happened with the spoof film genre. They crank out a new *Insert Recent Popular Thing Here* Movie seemingly faster than the next fad can arrive.
Reply J. Conrady
5:42 PM on December 11, 2009 
Sorry, True Blood is every bit as shallow and youth-appealing, bad dialogue-ridden show I've seen. I've tried to get into it but become weary by the awfulness of its characters and completely pointless and directionless story. It may have the HBO twist of being "mature" but is still the same story and process of even Twilight, just with tits.
Reply toosmartforbond2
9:00 PM on December 11, 2009 
I hate to so utterly and vehemently disagree with you on this, but it's just one of those rare occasions, I guess. You may not like it, but it is not a pandering, trite vampire story for prepubescent youth as that other stuff is. I've enjoyed the unique twist on the old story and the whole mythos created thus far. I'm not sure how much of it you've watched, or which episodes, but I admit I am surprised to see this level of hate for it :p

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