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An Open Letter to One Million Moms

Posted on May 3, 2012 at 8:10 AM


An Open Letter to One Million Moms

In Response to One Million Mom's Protest Against a page in Urban Outfitters


April 20, 2012

One Million Moms

℅ American Family Association

P.O. Box 3206

Tupelo, MS 38803

Dear One Million Moms, or more accurately around 46,000 moms going by your Facebook member page…don't worry, I'm sure you'll get there.

I am writing to applaud and stand by your protest against the second page of an Urban Outfitters catalog that displays two women kissing.  Your weekly self-righteous protests are certainly keeping our country on the right path to…ummm….<note: insert edit later>. As you know, once you see two women kissing in a photo, you automatically turn into a homosexual and retroactively turn any unborn children in the vicinity into homosexuals as well.

Oh, I mean, it will make those children in the womb…decide to be gay.

Anyways, I know you may still be hurt since failing to get JC Penny to fire Ellen DeGeneres as their spokesperson which, I would assume, caused a "gay explosion" across the country that the media simply hasn't reported on due to their liberal bias, but we must see this current effort through to the end. Sure, Urban Outfitters makes no qualms about their target market - those progressive thinking types that probably have never even seen a NASCAR race - but we must tell this company it must appeal to all markets, not just one. If they wish to receive a dime of Christian money, they better change that photo or feel the wrath of the 46,000 or so moms that didn't shop at their stores in the first place.

On this note, I am shocked and appalled you have overlooked the male lingerie market and not tell Veronica's Secret how to run their business as well. A man has every right to wear a see-through thong at the beach and I'm sure you would agree that it would be best for the children.

My concern also grows when thinking of the younger children I don't have. The impressionable ones that ask "why is the sky blue?" and occassionally "why does daddy cry and lock himself in the basement?" The mere thought of there being a photograph in a catalog that may or may not be seen by a child somewhere in the world and a parent, perhaps, having to explain something to them is just saddening. To think the state of our world where a parent has to be responsible and might have to try to clarify and reason something towards a child is simply too much to handle. I am sure you would agree it's far easier just to hit them, tell them to shut up and then demand another beer from the fridge before we say our nightly prayers. I know it worked for me especially when raised with a strong religious foundation and morals. Why just look at me now:

Thank you,

The Organization of People Complaining About Organizations of People Complaining About Stuff (OPCAOPCAS)


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